mind. blown.

I've been working on my next lesson for the youth group here in alliance, and I am constantly amazed. Thinking about Jesus and what he did constantly leaves me in awe and the power and beauty of the sacrifice. It's almost like I keep waiting for the wonder of it all to wear off, like if I just read it enough times it will just be another story. However, I'm terrified of that, if I ever come to such a realization the world as I know it will most likely cease to exist. Every time I walk outside and see God's creation I'm reminded and struck by the love and care that went into all of it. My heart breaks for those who haven't been allowed the same feelings for whatever reason, maybe they have been led to believe something else, or are simply living in ignorance. I am so incredibly thankful for the call that God has given me to share the good news! What a standard to live up to. I feel like this a new realization even though its not. The thought of the blessing and responsibility is something I will take with me forever. This is something I have realized even more so being a different environment and culture. While many things are the same, nothing compares to growing up in the Bible belt. Even if people aren't really SOLD OUT to Christ they still attend church. OF course not everyone, but I would say more people than a lot of places. Church is part of Southern culture. Family and fellowship it all just fits together at church. I don't think its the same here in Ohio. It's almost like you can feel the hurt in the air. Sitting next to people in a coffee shop or walking past them in the store, you can feel the weight of the emptiness, and it breaks my heart. In the past I have been angry at a dear friend of mine who tried to reach out to people who were hurting even though it seemed silly to me that she would work so hard to love someone who didn't care about her when she had so many other people who do care. I think now that i realize what she was feeling and why she felt the need to reach out to those people I hope that she will forgive me for my ignorance and selfishness and continue to be and example to others of the life that Christ has called us to. A life of sacrifice, a life that won't always be bubbles and sunshine no matter how hard to try to hide behind a cloud of "perfectness." People don't like people that are perfect, they want to know that you struggle and that you have difficult times, but once people see that even though you are struggling you have joy.... that's when people are intrigued. We need, I need, to live life the way that Christ has called me to live, doing the things He has called me to do, no matter what that means.